Big Shoes

I have some big shoes to fill this year. When Kim publicly announced me as acting team captain for the first part of the racing season, she caught me off guard. Would I be able to motivate my team as well as she does? Can I guide others? I’m not as strong as her. I had doubts. It sounds so silly seeing as we’re not a competitive team. We’re just a group of welcoming people who love doing obstacle course races together. But even so, I wondered: can I fill those shoes?

I’d just have to see as the season unfolded.

As Jeff began preparing for his first race, I started sharing the same tips and strategies that had been taught to me. Carry the sandbag on your head. Practice for the tractor pull with my tire. Put the treadmill on the steepest incline possible and hike. Get ready to run in wet shoes. I started to get the same ‘why are you torturing me’ looks that I’d give Kim. I must be doing something right. Then it came at 6:00am this morning.

Are you going to give me a Spartan workout beating today?

I caught glimpses of him pushing himself today at the gym, but I never realized just how hard it is to keep an eye on someone else while doing a workout yourself. Burpees, push-ups, bear crawls, crab walks, sprints, lunges, squats, mountain climbers and planks. These workouts aren’t easy, and I’ve been emphasizing the well-deserved high-fives and good jobs. But there are also shouts to get up when he needs to hear it. I try to motivate. Because that’s what a captain does.

You’re a good trainer.

It was nice to hear that, but there’s more. Lunchtime suckfests are back and I’ve got Casey with me this year. She’s an awesome running buddy who is training for a road race. Now I know nothing about road race training (I hate them) but Casey wanted a challenge last week and had turned to me to create one. So we did:

• 3 rounds of running hill repeats
• 1 round of walking hills with a 40 pound sandbag in tow
• Leg raises
• Russian twists
• Sit-ups

Casey killed it, and it was a challenge for me as well. But now I see things differently…it’s not just about me anymore. It’s about pushing and encouraging the people around me just as much as I push myself.

And I knew at the finish line.

Reality Check

As I sat at dinner the other night with my boyfriend and a few of his friends, I listened to one guy tell me that when he runs, he competes against himself instead of a clock. I understood that mentality. I’m not sure everyone else did. But then again, I know I’m my own kind of crazy.

Now fast forward three days to today and that was me…competing against myself. It wasn’t pretty.

It’s been exactly two years since I began running the hills of Oyster Bay, so it seemed only appropriate that my first lunchtime run of the year include the hill that started it all. Casey and I picked a two mile route that I’d run countless times before without a problem. Today I struggled.

It felt good to be running outside again, though reality hit when we got to the hill on Anstice Street. We got about 80% up – to the stop sign, an old landmark that I aspired to reach two years ago – before we had to start walking. Granted, it’s one of the bigger hills in town, but I had run it in its entirety so many times, even with weight on my back, that I couldn’t help but be a little disappointed in myself. But I know that muscles have memory.

We ran some flat ground and approached Simcoe – the hill I was put on my very first day as a so-called runner. I remembered how it was impossible for me to complete for quite some time, and how big it seemed, when in reality since then, I’ve tackled far worse. But since I didn’t run all the way up Anstice, I wanted to see if I could pull this one off. I wanted to see how far back I had fallen.

As it turns out, the answer was not terribly far, because I did it… and without a struggle. We even added some squats at the top for good measure. So even though today’s run was an ugly one, there’s always tomorrow. It’ll only get better.

And I knew at the finish line.

Twelve

Yesterday was 12 years since I lost my mom. It sucks big time, especially when I’m dealing with a lot of other really crappy things in my life right now. It makes me miss her even more, and I have been trying desperately to figure out what she would say to me. And even though I knew that what I should’ve been doing yesterday is working out, simply because that’s what she’d be doing, I was too upset.

But today is a new day.

Last year at this time, me and my teammates (aka lunchtime workout buddies) did a workout specifically to honor her. Today I didn’t bring it up and neither did they. So off we went to one of the steepest hills around for three rounds of running along with three rounds, 12 per set, of burpees, calf raises, hand release push-ups and skaters. I didn’t say anything, but as we started I was thinking that sets of 12 were an odd number to pick. 10, 20 or even 15 yes, but 12?? It made no sense to me, but still I kept quiet. Then it dawned on me running up that hill for the first round.

This one’s for mom. That’s why we were doing sets of 12.

Round two – exhaustion was starting to set in. The hill had become too steep for me to run the whole way. I ended up counting my steps and then hiking some of it. Round three – I finished my last set of 12 and set off for my final run up that hill for the day. I wanted so badly to stop or even slow down. I counted 50 steps, because that’s how old my mom was, and promised myself I would hike at that point. But 50 hit and I told myself another 50, then I decided I would not slow down. I would keep pushing, just like she would.

Because this one’s for mom. And I knew at the finish line.

Capital Heights: My Mini Goal (That’s Not So Mini…)

Today I ran halfway up Capital Heights. By September I hope to run straight through to the top. Six months to go.

And I’ll know at the finish line.

Hot Workout, Cool Day

I ran all the way up Anstice hill for the first time a little over 8 months ago. That was the day I started training specifically for my first Spartan Race. I was really proud of that accomplishment. And about a month later, my teammate and I sprinted together as long as possible up that hill, breaking when we needed it. That time I had 10 pounds on my back. I remember feeling like that hill had gotten shorter.

No Robyn, You got stronger.

That’s the response she gave me that day. I guess it had been obvious to her, but I was oblivious. That was last August. Now I don’t need her to tell me what I already know: my strength is improving some more and my endurance is up.

Today we ran up that same hill about 75% of the way, to the stop sign that was once my breaking point, then walked the rest of the way up. But there was a big difference this time…I was carrying 18 pounds on my back and the hill was part of a 2.4+ mile route. I’ve never run with that much weight to begin with, let alone up, down and around several hills. I took my own advice and when I thought I hit my limit, pushed myself a little more, a little further and when the workout ended it dawned on me…having the ability to recognize self improvement is pretty damn cool. So I’m not there yet, but I’m definitely closer than I was yesterday.

And I knew at the finish line.

Challenge Yourself

The word of the month for me has been challenge.  

I’ve yet to encounter a CrossFit workout that didn’t challenge me in some shape or form, but that’s good. I’m there to get my ass kicked. Actually, CrossFit comes with a few challenges for me – the workouts itself, the discipline of not comparing myself to those around me, mastering my form and finding the time to get there in the first place when the challenges of work, our bike store, a nutrition program and running our home get in the way. I have a lot on my plate but still, I try my best to push through because I really want to do well this racing season.  

So I recently faced a WOD that included 10 rounds of: clean and jerk, knees to elbows and tricep dips. I racked my barbell and took another 10 pounds to leave on the side…just in case I felt that I could handle it, though at the time I thought it might be wishful thinking. Turns out I ended up putting that extra weight on after the first round. Now that was a challenge. Then I got to tricep dips again and the coach came over.

C’mon Robyn, challenge yourself.

WTF?? I already was challenging myself. I guess my coach thought I could do better though, so I made the workout harder for myself. My arms burned like crazy the whole way through but I did it. My coach was right – I was capable of doing more.  

So what’s the lesson I’ve learned? When I think I’m challenging myself, I should try pushing myself a little further and see what happens. Maybe I’ll fail, or maybe, just maybe, I’ll surprise myself and find out that I can do more than I thought I was capable of. But I’ll never know until I try.  

And I knew at the finish line.